Assembly

By  HEMANI STALLARD ‘25 

As you all should know, Matsuki Miyawaki, otherwise known as Mitski, is going on tour in America. Her Boston tickets were set to be released on October 7th, which happened to be  Friday, at 10:00 a.m. So during assembly, the absolute bloodbath of the ticketmaster queue would be open, and there would be no way we (my friend Sophia and I) would get the tickets on time. I know that you are probably thinking, why wouldn’t you just skip assembly? Well, both of our advisors are very punctual at assembly, and this story should only prove that. 

When we arrived at the assembly on October 7th , we had an airtight plan. Before it started, we would sneak away to the bathroom with our laptops and every credit card we possessed, and leave our backpacks to show we were in fact, at least inside the building. Then we would have someone say that we were in the bathroom and get the tickets as fast as we could. Then leave. Easy right? Wrong. There were in fact many ways this could go wrong. 

So we executed our plan, we ran downstairs to the bathroom at 9:55 before the assembly had even started. We managed to meet other Mitski fans in the assembly bathroom, and we all congregated in a stall, waiting for the tickets to go on sale. However, at that moment I got a text from my advisor (who shall remain unnamed but let’s just assume she is someone you don’t want to lie to): “Hi! Where are you?” Crap.

“Oh I am just using the bathroom, I’ll be up soon!” 

“Ok make sure you check in with me when you do” 

“Ok!” 

The tickets were up! 100th in the queue, 60th, 10th, 2nd, and… we were in. We frantically pressed on the Saturday show. The tickets were going fast. We figured one of us should buy all the tickets, then repay the others, I was selected as this person. So we found four seats. I went to the checkout and put in my credit card information. 

Then tragedy struck. The site read: “card not accepted.” WHY? We tried again. Card not accepted. Sophia and I used the same bank, so hers probably wouldn’t work either. We tried again and it inevitably said, card not accepted. The timer was angrily ticking in the corner of the screen and we knew if we didnt act fast we were about to lose our seats. So we kept going around this card roulette, all the while, my advisor is still messaging me. 

“Where are you?” (5 minutes ago) 

“Is everything ok?” (2 minutes ago) 

No. Everything was not ok. At 10:10 I gave up. Our tickets were definitely gone, and the least I could do was save face with my advisor. However, when I leave the stall, guess who is sitting on the bench inside the girl’s bathroom. 

“Would you like to tell me what you were doing in there? I know you weren’t using the bathroom, so let’s drop the act.” I couldn’t even formulate a response. I told her we were buying tickets to a music concert. She asked which one and I told her Mitski. She said: 

“Oh yes, I’ve heard of her.” She told me to go back to assembly and I meekly shuffled out of the room. 

I couldn’t believe my bad luck. I didn’t have tickets and now I was in trouble with a dean. What was even the punishment for this? Unexcused absence, CCC case, death by electric chair? When I was recounting this tragedy to my friends in St As, I thought maybe I would check the website one more time to see if I could find any tickets left. There weren’ any left on Saturday, but some were left on Thursday!! Not ideal, but I thought I could get the tickets now and then convince my mom later. Needless to say, she was not convinced. Hopefully this story of turmoil and misery will change her mind and let me go, but if anyone wants two Mitski tickets (they’re in the pit!!!), let me know. I’ll offer a good price

Also shout out to my unnamed advisor, for never giving me a punishment.