Latin Survival Guide

By: Andrew Yuan

10. Pray to Jupiter every day in Latin. A prayer a day keeps the D- away!

9. Ask people who always tell you “carpe diem” which voice carpe is in. Then pull a Kathryn Hahn wink. 

8. For the single people: go to a “possumlove” instagram account and translate it while you slowly descend into obsession with the possums!

7. Start cutting your Caesar salad with 23 knives. 

6. Text first-year Latin students “if you think this is bad, we are just getting started.” 

5. Take past National Latin Exams just to feel better about yourself. 

4. Translate Harry Potter spells to reinforce vocab and question why Rowling uses first person present singular and even nouns (?) instead of imperatives for commands. 

3. Don’t take the Classics Diploma.

2. Don’t take Latin. (especially if you are already taking death chem and US history at the same time.)

1. Replace the knock on wood with a knock on the camera until the camera is pronounced legally dead. No more social awkwardness!

0. Be Blake.